Searching for Wilderness

We hear a lot; that many health issues are caused by stress. Whether it’s true or not at some point you can sense that stress does affect your nerves and physical body and behavior. 

Experiment it yourself. See if you can find a relationship between stress and the discomfort it causes to you. Do you ever noticed that stress originates with some disagreement or a conflict? 

Let’s put physical stress aside for now like over physical activity or something physical. Don't stop doing yoga or exercise to avoid physical stress that is a different kind of stress.

Only focus and stay with the things that stresses your mind for now. Some outside noise, smell or distraction makes you uncomfortable and you feel stressed. Sometimes the ring sound coming from your email notification or smartphone sends butterflies in your stomach. 

You are thinking of one thing and someone close to you demands your attention. Do you lash out? or do you see how it changes your thinking? do you sense changes in the mood, body, muscles and nerves? This kind of of stress we are trying to observe. 

See how it makes you fee and what may be a simple distraction does to your body and your mood. Which results in lashing out or sometimes behave neurotic. 

You can see the stress a result of some conflict caused by distraction. And that conflict creates friction and can be felt with our senses. Is it that you want to do one thing and come in contact with another that demands attention? Then the battle begins.Mind instantly reacts back to keep its course of action. Battle goes on and you find yourself fighting internally with yourself. 

This battle stresses your nerves , brain cells giving you sense of tiredness. It changes your behavior.All kinds of reactions result to simply end the battle that has been going on inwardly. 

Years pass and you don't even realize what is normal or even the fact that you are fighting inwardly all the time. 

If you don’t see this battle within then you have no reason to find out if it can be ended. Continue your daily routine hoping that eventually one day it will end on its own. 

But if you notice yourself doing it and recognize that it is a battle that is a cause of all kinds of stress in your life inward and outward? Then you are already aware of your life in general. You may be already trying to find peace and happiness. Whatever that means to you. If you say you know what it is then you are simply trying to living in the old memory of your happy days and hoping to live it again. Or you are honest to yourself and has realized that you simply don't know what you are looking for? but wants to end this battle for good.

Now you know you are a warrior and most of the time losing the battle on all fronts. You say to yourself; I have a good day and a bad day. Mybehavior constantly changes time to time. 

What can I do? My natural reaction is to gethelp. 

So I go to psychiatrist, physiologist, books, internet or this baba orthat Guru. It presents a buffet of options to make you win your unique battle. 

Unique because I have already tried to explain it to people that are close to me. And they can not help because they don't even see why I feel this way or think that way. It becomes unique to me making me feel no one really understand it. That makes me more depressed, isolated and you are back to where you started more isolated and cut off from the world. 

Some of us go to food buffet of drinks, smoke, party alone or with people etc. etc. to escape from the battlefield all together.  Sometimes simply refusing to do anything and face isolation. Quit job impulsively, or change it in a hope it will give better opportunity if you’re employed.

Separate or Divorce, breakup if you are in a relationship etc. 

All these are methods of escape. It makes you more and more isolated, lonely and miserable. Because you do escape from the battle when you do yoga, chant mantras, meditate, take medicine, drink alcohol or whatever antidote prescribed to you by the experts for time being. That expert may be someone else or most of the time yourself. 

You notice that it’s effects last temporary and you find yourself right back on to the same battleground or slightly modified. Some escapes last longer than the other but none change your unique battles completely? It never really ends. All methods of escape comes with some good or bad side effects but none solve your problems permanently. 

Lot to think now. Hold on a second? You will argue on what side effect is there if you Meditate and chant mantras? 

Good side effect is that you may get 10 or 20 minutes of peace. You may gather more energy and lash out even more. Telling your self you have now more energy to fight the battle. 

Mantras are powerful tool if you find a right one for you. It will give you more time to gather your strength and uplift your mind that all this turmoil is temporary and superficial. 

But then again the battle field will simply wait for your return from high places. 

Are you willing to spend 30 years to find out if it really ends or not? Sacrifice all the time and money you could have spent with the people you call family or friends. If you can’t find it in this life there is always a next one? What a clever idea itis. 

See how everything around you works. You want battle to end. You want it but you don’t know what it is. You invest your time or money on someone that promises you how to find it. But no one guaranty the results. Sell you something to experience it yourself. Sell you drugs, methods, faith, beliefs ,hopes and most cleaver ideas like reincarnation and afterlife. 

  Again you believe the salesman. You can’t even tell how many of these life times you have already been buying these ashes. You keep looking. And now you are reading this blob hoping to get more than ashes. 

Article is free but you are spending time to read it. Honestly ask yourself? What are you looking for? Is it an escape from the battle we discussed earlier so you can do things you want your way without a conflict? Orend the battle permanently? 

No amount of chants, meditation or alcohol, drugs is going to make you free if you do not understand what you are and what you want. 

You must be searching for it if you are reading this article. This is where it gets very interesting. If I tell you that very search or a journey hasto end to be completely free from daily battle and live!. All I can show you that the battle is inside of you. You need to see that the battle is you.

 If you are interested? Like this article and In the next article we can figure out if search can be ended? Or is it an endless game of search to end itself?